Back to the Future, Part 9

July 21, 1996

[After having visited the Hard Rock Cafe and the newly opened Planet Hollywood, I thought Singapore deserves her own theme restaurant - dhl]

July 21 (AP) - Today is the official grand opening of the Planet Singapore theme restaurant at the Bugis Junction. The celebration was covered in the true spirit of the TCS, which was basically a blatant advertisement for the restaurant. The only true Singapore celebrity seen was Michelle Goh. The rest of the local celebrity was busy squabbling over their contracts with the TCS.

Similar to the concept of the Planet Hollywood and the All Star Cafe, unforgettable Singapore memorabilia are prominently displayed in the restaurant. These items include

The original piece of chewing gum that paralyzed the MRT system and forced the now world-famous gum-banning legislature.
The last stick of satay that was sold at the now-defunct Satay club.
The Merc that was vandalized by Michael Faye and the original rattan cane that was used on Michael and his accomplices.
The football jersey of the now-forgotten Singapore Lion.
The original charter of the old Nanyan university.
The shirt worn by LKY during his tearful speech on the secession of Singapore from Malaysia.
The skeletal remain of a young Merlion which was unearthed during excavation of the Robinson Quay.

And of course, the restaurant cannot be called Planet Singapore without sporting the unusual rules that made Singapore famous. Instead of the normal queuing tickets, all patrons will need to purchase a Culinary Obligatory Endowment (COE) in order to get a seat. All COEs will be sold to the highest bidder. As of midnight last night, the COEs was being sold at a premium of S$234.50. Patrons will have to forfeit their COEs if they cannot get a seat before the restaurant closes.

The interior of the restaurant is divided into a public dinning area and a private dining area. Each table in the public dinning area has a 99 minute occupation period. Because of the close proximity of these tables, the diners will have no difficulty telling if there is a fly in the soup of the adjacent tables. As a dinner in the private dining area, the patron will receive an unlimited supply of Muraku.

The restaurant is further divided into Group Represented Concoctions (GRCs). If the patrons were unfortunate enough to be seated in the opposition ward, they will be served with local rubbish with no chance of being upgrade to a better section. If the patrons were fortunate enough to be seated in the PAP ward, they will receive a complimentary copy of the Straits Times and allowed to exit from the front entrance.

Once you have gotten a seat, as a PAP card-carrying member, you will get served first by the staff. Married couple also get preferential treatment such as free menu and water. If you have children, you will get a S$50 credit toward each kid. If you are single and enter the restaurant alone, you will be automatically be enrolled in the SDU or SDS and be required to be seated with an available single. You will not be allowed to leave the restaurant until you have made further date arrangement. If you have a 5C card, you are exempted from this practice. If you have a 9C card, you are treated as a married couple.

The restaurant will serve the local favorite such as Satay, Char Quay Teow, Roti Prata, etc. with one exception. All food are censored by the restaurant's own censor board. All bad ingredients are taken out and you are only allowed to eat what's good for you. If you brought in your own food, you will have to pay the culinary censor board for censoring your food before consumption.

One interesting note is that there is no set closing time for the restaurant. The closing will be announced 9 minutes before the actual closing time to ensure that the diners will be so busy scrambling to finish the food so they won't have a chance to fill out the customer satisfaction card.

One word of caution, watch what you say while you are in the restaurant. If you were caught complaining about the food or the service, you will be slapped with a defamation suit so fast that will make your head spin. You can be sued by the chef, owner, waiter or anyone remotely related to the restaurant. Owner will reserve to right to file multiple frivolous suits against you. Bankruptcy amongst the frequent complainers are common. Some even have their tax records confiscated at night and lives of their loved ones made miserable.

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